Most of us think our feelings and thoughts are dependent on outside events…and not in our own control. This is wrong, and biologically incorrect. We control our feelings and thoughts. No one else puts them there but ourselves. We can change our feelings and thoughts any time we want.

We Control How We React

Our thoughts and feelings are a reaction to life events. This reaction is our reaction and not the reaction of someone else. We are responsible for how we react, responsible for our thoughts and feelings.

We often get stuck in habitual reactions—when something happens, we may react the same way again and again. When we fail to achieve or acquire something we want, we may get upset and worried? This seems natural and normal. But the failure or missed expectation does not create our bad feelings and uncomfortable thoughts, we do! This is good and bad news. If we don’t feel good, there is work to do.

We Control our Thoughts and Feelings

This can be a tough lesson, but we are virtually slaves until we understand that we control our reactions to life, that we are in control. Other people do NOT make us feel good or bad; it is our reaction to them. It is our choice as to how we respond. It is our choice of how we feel and think in response to what other people do. We control our feelings and thoughts, not circumstances and not someone else. We are responsible and in control.

Of course, a life threatening event will get a strong response from any human. But most of every day is NOT a life threatening event. In the modern world, even if there is a life threatening event, the situation is usually best solved in a civil and balanced way without “emergency” emotions.

Change to a Better Condition

So how do we change our thinking and feeling to a better condition? We do this in a four step process of awareness, decision, action and practice: “ADAP.”

1. Become aware of what you are thinking and feeling.
2. Decide how you want to feel and think.
3. Take action and create the thoughts and feelings you want.
4. Repeat the improved feelings and thoughts.

Sounds easy doesn’t it? It is easy, but getting yourself to actually do it and practice it is not easy. Most of us need help and reminders… such as reading an article like this.

Most of us need an exercise to follow to help us through theses steps. The exercise, Feel Better Now, is below.

Do the Exercise: “Feel Better Now”!

Practice calm; become Aware.

The first step of this exercise is to practice calm and become aware of your thoughts and feelings. It is difficult to change if awareness and understanding are not in place; awareness is important. Awareness alone can change events. By becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings, simply observing, can give you control and change a situation. Awareness is a powerful tool—the exercises below will teach you how to use and develop awareness.

“Feel Better Now, ” Part One:

• Sit in a still quiet place with your feet on the ground, eyes closed, in an upright but relaxed position.
• Notice how you are breathing… short and halting, long and deep, or neither? It does not matter how you are breathing, simply observe HOW you are breathing.
• Keep observing your breathing process and notice the change.

Observing your breath in a gentle quiet way, for a few minutes, will usually relax you. It will also begin a process of inner awareness and control. Do this exercise three times a day. Awareness will develop.

“Feel Better Now,” Part Two:

After you have practiced Part One for a few days, begin to ask yourself how you are feeling and thinking? How do these thoughts and feelings serve you; do they help or hinder your well being?

Do these thoughts help you in your day and create a good atmosphere, or do your thoughts pull you away with negative impact? How do you want to feel and think? Are you thinking and feeling in a way that helps you, in a way you enjoy?

Circumstances do not matter: Good situations come and go. Bad situations are the same; they rarely last forever. The question is: How are you reacting? How do you feel and think? Would you change it if you could? You can change right now in this exercise.

Think of how you want to feel and think, how about “happy” and “relaxed”? As simple as this exercise sounds, it works; try it. Begin to think happy and relaxed thoughts.

• Look at your feet, imagine that they feel happy and relaxed.
• Think of your arms, from shoulder to elbow, as being happy and relaxed.
• Imagine your hands full of pleasure, your knees being happy, your legs and thighs and your head at peace and happy too.
• Go through every inch of your body imagining it happy, relaxed and pleasurable.

Do this exercise for 5 to 10 minutes three times a day for 10 days. Write down how you felt before the first exercise; write how you feel at the end of 10 days.

Take Conscious Control

In this exercise you are taking conscious control of your thoughts and feelings, your reaction to life.

We are all able to control our happiness regardless of life events, regardless of what is happening around us. We are intended and neurologically designed to control our feelings and thoughts and create a world we like. But most of us fall into HABIT, the habit of thinking our happiness depends on external events, when this is never true.

If we win a new car and react with happiness, the new car is NOT making us happy. Our decision to be happy in response to winning a car is what creates the happiness.

At any time, we can create the same happiness and satisfaction inside ourselves… regardless of what is happening in our lives. But we must practice this conscious control to have it.

A lifetime of random reactions to external events does not change in a day or two; it takes practice. Getting control of your thoughts and feelings can happen with sustained practice of the simple exercise above when combined with your will to accomplish this outcome.

Imagine and create an atmosphere of love with every breath you take.

We are responsible for the quality of every breath of our life. Let each breath work for you in productivity and health.

Part I

1. With a simple walk, you can walk your way to immortality.

• Begin walking.
• Go slowly.
• Never fast or hard.

2. With each step you take, feel the surface of your foot upon the ground.

• Be aware.
• Feel your weight upon each foot as it drops.
• Feel the ground, and think of the Earth that supports you.

3. Think of gravity and wonder about it?

• How does gravity relate us to the Earth?
• While you walk, lightly think about your body and how it touches Earth.
• Ponder gravity and how it centers you throughout the Universe and World.

4. Feel the way you feel upon the earth, how you are held in place yet walk.

• Imagine gravity and how it works with more than just our planet.
• Imagine gravity, the moon and earth; think of the oceans and their tides.
• Forget all thought.

Part II

1. As you walk: Gently and very lightly think of immorality. See how that feels?

• Move away from the thought if it feels uncomfortable.
• Think of the earth, your feet and gravity.

2. If you think of immortality in comfort, ask yourself if immortality is who you are?

• With each step you take: inquire and ask yourself, ask of the world around you?
• With each step you take, allow the eternal nature of you and life to activate.
• With each step, notice the immortal quality of you; imagine it.

3. Notice your eternal quality awaken in your body, as who you are.

• Observe immortal quality coming up from Earth.
• As you walk, think about a life that last forever and in perfect health.
• Do not use force or will within this thinking.

4. With each step, feel the impact of the Earth & feel the impact of your body.

• Let the force of impact activate your natural and immortal quality; it will.
  
• Notice immortality, imagine it with lightness and within a sense of ease.
• Be humble and know your eternal nature as you walk; walk it into you.

5. The finish

• Walk gently into your day.
• Forget your walk.
• And walk again.

This exercise will activate and energize your natural ability to feel love.

Introduction

This exercise has three parts: Part I and II are a Classic Medical Qi Gong Exercise, currently practiced in China, that helps you settle down and begin to activate healthy body chemistry. This exercise, in a sense, creates the space and place for love. It prepares you for awakening the love of who you are.

Part III is a Mind/Body exercise I designed, a type of Health Psychology or Behavioral Medicine prescription to activate your neurological circuitry of love.

You can do Part I & II alone, or part III alone. For best effect, do them all in one sitting.

If you forget this exercise during the day, you can sit quietly and think “love”; and feel “love.” It matters little if it does not happen for you at first… just imagine that you feel love, and imagine that you think love for three minutes, three times day. Using the imagination will activate the circuitry.

Using your imagination this way, you will turn on the neurological circuits and chemistry of love. Love is literally designed into you. Love is designed to happen for you on a natural and regular basis, every day and all the time.

Love is the natural state of being human, being alive. You’ve simply got to warm up the process by working the imagination–your neurological circuits of love. It sounds too simple to be true until you try it and actually DO IT with regularity, every day. Then it happens. And you may wonder, “My goodness, why haven’t I been doing this before”? Well surprise, you’ve learned a new skill and something new about yourself and life.

God created the Universe by imagining it to BE; as the Universe was imagined or thought by the Lord, it became and we arose of it with free will and the ability to imagine for better or worse. So what is it going to happen for you as you imagine for better or worse? It’s up to you.

Every cell in our body responds to and participates in love; love is free and is a natural physical state. If our bodies were created in God’s image, no doubt we are designed to feel love all the time… everywhere inside ourselves, and everywhere in the world as we go about our day.

Everything in life can be seen within a loving context, by practicing love. See your body as love, as love alive in every cell and organ. Feel the love in yourself that is already there; you don’t really create it. It is simply there and waiting for you to recognize it, give it attention and bring it into play. You can do this by giving attention to your body knowing love is there. If you don’t feel the love, see the love at first… imagine you do. The imagination creates everything about our lives. Your imagination will activate the natural quality of love in your body and your life.

Practice love in everything you do: move your body with movements of love, think your thoughts of work and play with love, judge all of life as a life of love… and make wise decisions.

Please notice, that in this exercise you do not focus above your chest except when starting at the “tip” of your nose. If your thoughts go to your head, inside your head… gently bring your attention to your feet, then continue where you were in the exercise.

The Exercise: 15 Steps to Love

Part I: Gentle Focus & Grounding (“The Qi Gong State”)

1. Find a quiet and calm place
2. Sit in a chair, firm with a straight back.
3. Sit straight, but not so straight you’re uncomfortable.
4. Begin to notice your breating, just notice it… with easy attention
5. Your breathing will straighten out, not to deep and not to shallow.
6. Breathe in and breath out, simply noticing how you are breathing. The human body has a natural and amazing ability to correct itself with just a little attention from you.
7. Close your eyes.
8. With your eyelids shut, pretend you can see out them and imagine you see a ruby red light arching out from the tip of your nose a few inches, and curving back in toward your heart.
9. Hold that image while breathing in and out; and simply observe.
10. After holding you focus at this place: eyes to nose in a ruby red arc, let your attention go to your feet.
11. Focus you attention: Eyes to nose in a ruby red arc. Hold that image breathing in and out several times.
12. Let you attention go to your feet.

Part II. Self Care & Closing for the Qi Gong State

1. Rub your hands together, wash your face.
2. Comb your fingers through your hair. 3 X
3. Gently massage your ears. 3 X
4. Pat the top of your head. 3 X
5. pat down the front of your body. 3 X
6. Pat down the outside of your arms from shoulder to hand. 3 X
7. Pat down the side of your body from arm pit to hands. 3 X
8. Make gentle fists and wrap lightly the back at the lower rib where the kidneys are located. 12X
9. Make a circular motion with your chin as though you were going over an outline of an ostrich egg being held between your chin, neck and chest, like a Crane dipping its beak in water. 12X
10. Now place your hands in front of you, and pretend you are holding a ball of energy. Feel it, see it, imagine it is you don’t.

Part III. Activate Love (3 minutes Total)

1. Open your eyes and relax.
2. See love in your hands, every finger
3. See love in your arms.
4. Feel love in your feet, and your legs.
5. Feel love in you back.
6. See love on your shoulders.
7. Make love your vision.
8. Feel love in your body.
9. Feel love in your gut.
10. Notice love in your knees & thighs.
11. Imagine you are love, complete and full.
12. Know you are love head to toe.
13. See love in your life.
14. See love in your home.
15. Feel love all around you.

Take care and love!